Saturday, January 2, 2010

Couples goals

Happy New Year everyone!! The sign above was a note I quickly cut out of newspaper and taped to my garage door for my fiance to see when he got to my house on New Years Eve. It was super easy and he loved it! Just something for you to keep in the back of your head for his birthday, Valentines Day or some other random occasion.
So I want to know, have you already set new years resolutions and are any already out the window? If so, know you are not alone :), but the year is still young, start again and pretend you just barely started.

New beginnings are always a great way to reflect on the past and prepare for the future. At the start of this new year, I wanted to blog about setting goals or resolutions as a couple. The ending of an old year and the beginning of a new year is a great chance for all of us to see what we did that worked and work on some of those areas that maybe were a little neglected the year before.

Have you ever set goals as a couple? I'm sure you have, at least informally, but have you ever took the time to write them down together? Well, now is your chance. My fiance and I have been talking about ours for a week now and tomorrow we'll get them in writing. Here are some areas we talked about possible goals for:

Spiritual: This could be anything from going to church, to reading uplifting/spiritual books including the scriptures, praying together, . . .

Physical: Included here could be goals about eating healthy-maybe a goal to try a healthy recipe once a week or to set aside ___ number of days a week to exercise together or just go on a walk together.

**Remember-goals should be measurable. The following are not good examples of goals "exercise more" "eat out less" "go on a walk instead of watching TV". . . These are starts of goals, but they lack the specifics that are going to make them work. Use words like daily, weekly, no more than. . ., at least. . .,

Social: Invite people over to your home, spend time with the couples in your families (not just as whole family functions, but as adults), find a new activity to do as a couple and meet or invite other couples to do it too (it could be dancing, bowling, tennis, pottery class. . .)

Adventure goal: I got this idea from my friends father. Every year they are required to have an adventure goal. This could include anything they have always wanted to do, but never have. Ex: white water rafting, snorkeling, mountain biking, archery, planting a garden (it could be an adventure-sometimes I don't know which will win out: the heat, bugs and weeds or the flowers and vegetables :))

Couple goal: A specific goal you could use to strengthen your relationship. It could be a weekly date night, or saying "I love you" instead of just assuming the other one knows you do. It could be saying "I'm sorry". It could be calling the other one once in awhile just to talk instead of asking them to pick the eggs up from the grocery store. Maybe you will have the same goal as your partner in this area or maybe you will have a different one but writing them down will let the other one know that you are working on things because they are important to you.

You could have intellectual goals of reading the newspaper, watching the history channel, reading more non-fiction books and discussing them over dinner. Maybe you could learn a new language or take a class together and learn a new skill like leather, wood or metal work. Financial goals are also good to think about.

This is not meant to be an all encompassing list of possibilities, but hopefully it has got you thinking about some things you could work on together. Goals are always easier when they are worked on with a partner.

Good luck! Let me know of your successes or struggles. I'll even report back on some of our progress as the year goes on.


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